


Flowers for you.

by monbby



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst... Kinda., Changkyun-centric, Hanahaki Disease, Other, but in this case, high school!au, how to write abt the hnhk disease when the mc has no (mentioned) l.i, i love my bby, the rest of the group are mentioned, the rest of the squad??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-21
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-08-27 02:01:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16693294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monbby/pseuds/monbby
Summary: Suddenly, white carnations and poppies left such a bad taste at his mouth.Though, to be fair, he'd only thrown up the carnations and no poppies, so far.





	1. So, this happened.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Uh, this is my first ever AO3 story, if you have any criticism, I'll gladly take it! Just, please don't be too harsh, okay? Thank you, in advance!
> 
> As a note, white carnations are for one-sided love towards an acquaintance. Like, co-worker, classmate, etc. And poppies are for one-sided love towards a friend, or a best-friend.

There was something different about that day. Something was off, extremely.

 

Changkyun had never been the early-bird kind of person, the earliest hour he’d ever woken up by himself, on any normal day, would be 8 AM. Which was considered ‘late’, at least for him. But here he was, 2 AM, on his knees with his hands gripping the toilet seat so hard his knuckles went white. He felt so nauseous, but he was healthy enough just yesterday.

 

What?

 

After a long, agonising 30 minutes, he finally felt the ‘bile’ rising up his throat. He shut his eyes tightly, and he stopped his breathing so he wouldn’t smell the disgusting smell of vomit as he threw up. Except, when he did smell throw-up, albeit accidentally, it smelt… fragrant?

 

He slowly opened his eyes, and his eyes widened at the sight of flower petals filling up the toilet bowl.

 

_What?_

 

It was 2.30ish AM, so his eyes were probably playing tricks on him. Then again, if vomit were really THAT pale and white, that’s even more worrying. And besides, he did feel that bile… uh, ‘bile’ was less watery than usual. In fact, it was rather dry.

 

“... Fuck.” Changkyun mumbled under his breath. He tried to push himself away from the toilet seat, quietly sitting on the floor and laid his back on the wall. He groaned out of pain, tears coming out of the corner of his eyes. Just because the puke had a little mercy on him via scent, that didn’t mean he wouldn’t have a sore throat.

 

The previously gentle bathroom light had now become blinding, and his eyes squinted at the sudden change of brightness. What had he done now that caused him to throw up flower petals?

 

… should he ask someone about this?

 

Regardless of whether he should ask someone or not, of course, he chose to keep his mouth shut. Word will come out, anyways, so in the meantime, he just wanted to keep everything ‘okay’.

 

But for fuck’s sake, he still couldn’t process what was going on. And, from what he could tell, he made a good amount of those flowers that they’d probably clog up the toilet if he tried to flush them. Then again, what else could he do?

 

They’d already touched the toilet water, and he was going nowhere near that.

 

_______________

 

Walking to school, and being outside in general, felt so much more like a chore than ever before. For one, he had to bring multiple plastic bags, in case he needed a spare one. He also had to bring medicine and act like he was throwing up actual used-to-be-food food instead of white flower petals.

 

Now that he had an actual clear mind, and the day wasn’t at the cracks of dawn, he remembered a classmate of his saying something about throwing up flowers. He, admittedly, wasn’t paying any attention, but he shouldn’t even be since he was overhearing the whole conversation.

 

He really hoped no one saw him like this as he trudging his way to school. He felt so vulnerable, but he didn’t understand why. “Is it because it’s flowers..?” He asked himself, rather quietly. Damn, his masculinity was _that_ fragile? He sighed, walking past the school gates as he set his gaze on the ground, as he usually did.

 

For once, he actually wished Kihyun wasn’t at school. Being the helicopter-parent friend he was, Kihyun would never leave Changkyun alone until he told him what was wrong, and then would just latch onto Changkyun as if he couldn’t take care of himself.

 

“You know he does it for good reason, Kyun-ah. Gotta ask, though,” A voice asked from behind him, interrupting his train of thought. “What’s up with you? You look more exhausted than usual.”

 

… wait.

 

Changkyun looked behind him immediately and spotted Hyungwon, towering over Changkyun usual. Only a second after that did he realise that the train of thought he had were most likely train of mumbles. Mumbles that Hyungwon picked up.

 

“It’s nothing, hyung,” Changkyun looked away, but he knew Hyungwon would continue to follow him. “Don’t worry about it, don’t you have better things to set your mind on? Like that social studies exam today?”

 

“Mrs. Oh knows I don’t care in that class anymore, so long as I get decent scores and actually show up, she doesn’t mind.” Hyungwon replied nonchalantly. “Or at least, not as much as she used to? Damn, that woman is unreadable.”

 

“Don’t try to read people, hyung, you’re really bad at it,” Changkyun scoffed.

 

“Look who’s talking?” Hyungwon fake-glared at Changkyun before sighing once more. “You didn’t answer my question, though,”

 

Changkyun gulped his saliva. “What question?”

 

“What’s up with you? I know something’s off here,” Hyungwon grabbed Changkyun’s shoulder to stop him from walking and repeated his words, with a small addition. “And as the helicopter-parent person Kihyun is, if he finds out, he won’t let it go. So unless you want two people on your trail, instead of only one, you’d be better off telling me what happened right now.”

 

Man, school bells had never been so convenient.

 

Hyungwon glared at the school bell before Changkyun’s shoulder. “Well, bell just rang. See you at break, Kyun-ah.” And with that, he walked away to his own class. Changkyun let out a breath he didn’t realise he was holding in, and opened the door to his class.

 

“It’s okay, Changkyun. Today… Hopefully, today won’t be as shit as other days.” Changkyun said to himself.

 

_______________

 

It was. Kind of.

 

The teachers had, somehow, made him do less work (though insignificantly small). Did they know he was going through the worst day of his life?? Then again, they probably pitied him because of the bags under his eyes.

 

God, was this torture.

 

And the unending pain of his stomach lasted the whole time he was in class, and counting. Changkyun seriously didn’t know when the pain would end! Then again, if he didn’t know what he was dealing, he also didn’t know any possible dangers that came with it.

 

“Ugh… When will this end?” Changkyun rested his head on his arms that were folded on the table. It was lunch time already, but the pain had no means of stopping sometime soon. Or maybe even at all? Hopefully it wasn’t the latter, Changkyun wouldn’t know what to do if the pain lasted more than a day.

 

“You okay? It’s recess yet you look like you could be dozing off any time, now,” A voice across the table asked. Changkyun felt his body stiffen at the sound, and he immediately looked up.

 

“H-hey, Kihyun-hyung!” His voice was a bit too cheery, for someone who had just been caught that he was in pain. Mad pain, but Kihyun didn’t need to know that.

 

Kihyun sighed. “What hour did you sleep last night?”

 

Changkyun looked through his mind to find the answer. “Uh… 1 AM?” He chuckled sheepishly.

 

Then, he only slept for an hour, since he couldn’t sleep at all after he threw up.

 

“Changkyun, don’t sleep so late. I bet you were playing games with Minhyuk, too,” Kihyun scolded, lightly flicking Changkyun’s forehead. However, due to his massive finger-flicking strength, and the fact that Changkyun was a bit sensitive to pain, that did not feel light on any accounts.

 

“I-I wasn’t!” At least, that wasn’t all he did until 1 AM. He also made himself a late-night snack and questioned reality as a whole, but everyone does that too so he didn’t mention.

 

“Whatever. Just don’t do it next time, okay? Seriously, you’re so pale, and it’s making your eyebags pop even more. You’ll be considered the male Sadako if you continue with your intensely screwed up sleep schedule.” Kihyun advised. Changkyun nodded, making a mental note that the vomit had altered his appearance this much.

 

Huh.

 

Should he go to the hospital?

  
  
Nah.

 

“Anyways, break’s ending in a few minutes, but you probably didn’t notice that since you were busy sleeping, right? Do me a favour,” Kihyun slid a protein bar to Changkyun’s side of the table. “And eat this. You need it.”

 

Changkyun looked at the snack peculiarly before looking back at Kihyun, who was already standing up. “Why do you have-”

 

“Thank me later. See ya, Kyun. I’ll see to it that when you go home, at least your back’s not hunched back out of pain because you didn’t eat.” Kihyun ruffled his hair a bit and walked away from Changkyun’s table, leaving him confused with a protein bar that was now stuffed into his pocket.

 

“Won’t be because of hunger, that’s for sure,” Changkyun noted. The bell rang, signalling all the students to return to their class. Changkyun sighed, standing up to walk to his class. His stomach still hurt, and he was just a _taaaaad_ bit sure that eating might make it worse, but he paid it no mind.

 

Maybe if he doesn’t think about it, the pain might go away.


	2. The explanation he very much needed.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He should've told someone about this when he first got it. Now, someone had to spot him in action with 0 context of the situation, maybe.

Unfortunately for him, it went on for longer than one day. So much longer. In fact, it’s been a few months since he started puking the petals, looking as white as ever.

 

In the months he had to experience the disease, he learnt a few things about himself. First of all, he usually pukes when it’s late at night, or when he’s near the toilet and can excuse himself at any time. Secondly, despite being flowers, (well, flower PETALS, but still) ants don’t usually get near it either. Thirdly, the weather somehow affects it? Like if it rains, he vomits more compared to when it’s sunny. And last, but not least, he STILL doesn’t know why he’s throwing up flowers, or what it’s even called.

 

If only he could get the answer to the last ones. But hey, he’s alive! That’s what matters to him most.

 

His phone made a noise, prompting him to check the notification. He let out a breath, it was a text from Hyungwon, and opened the chat.

 

TURTLE HYUNG-HYUNG

**Today**

oi kyun  
12.43 PM

 

yes??  
12.44 PM

 

you’re still coming to my house today at 2, right?  
12.45 PM

 

yes, unfortunately.  
12.46 PM

 

still dunno y u need me around to study, but ok then.  
12.47 PM

 

I like the company, okay????  
12.47 PM

 

shut up.  
12.47 PM

 

ooooo turtle-hyung is using capitalised ‘i’s now, huh???  
12.49 PM

 

jkjk  
12.50 PM

 

i expect you to be studying w/ me, too  
12.51 PM

 

and to ask you if i have any problems with my packets, i know  
12.52 PM

 

geez you’re sounding like kihyun-hyung now  
12.53 PM

 

no i don’t!  
12.54 PM

 

uhuh, totally.  
12.55 PM

 

i don’t.  
12.55 PM

 

t o t a l l y.  
12.56 PM

 

anw i gtg now  
12.57 PM

 

where? you’re not just trying not to study, right? exams are literally next week.  
12.58 PM

 

n  
01.00 PM

 

no  
01.00 PM

 

just going out for a walk, you know??  
01.01 PM

 

changkyun.  
01.01 PM

 

OH HEY my mom’s calling me. see ya l8r hyung!  
01.02 PM

 

He quickly locked his phone, throwing it at his bed before plopping himself on the bed. He only had around an hour left before seeing Hyungwon, so he left himself rest on the bed for a little while more, then sat up straight on the bed. Reluctantly, he stood up and shoved some books and his pencil case into his drawstring bag.

 

The rare occasion where his parents were actually here finally arrived, as he could hear the narrator’s voice from the animal documentary his father would always watch, and he could hear his mother humming a song in their shared bedroom.

 

Well, there was only around a hour of free time. Changkyun set an alarm at 01.45 PM, and plopped himself right back onto his bed. Seeing as he’ll spend some time with Hyungwon, he might as well get a head-start and sleep first. He’ll probably need the energy.

 

_______________

 

Oh, fuck.

 

He lazily opened his eyes, still half-asleep as he checked the time on his phone.

 

2.49 PM.

 

There was a silent pause in the room. “SHIT-” Changkyun immediately got up and ran out his bedroom, drawstring bag strap on hand, quickly fitting his feet in his shoes. “Mom, Dad, I’m going to Hyungwon-hyung’s place now! Bye!”

 

They might’ve said goodbye back. He couldn’t really tell because he was already out, running for his life like he might just die. Because he just might, because it’s Hyungwon. And no matter how much of a lazy-ass he may be, if you’re late, you MIGHT be better off dead.

 

He rummaged through his mind to find some excuses. Or maybe he should’ve just come clean? No way, Hyungwon would kill him. Would they ever find his body??? He wasn’t ready to die yet! He still had things to do, and exams to rip, and-

 

Aaaaand, he already arrived.

 

He was shaking as he was in front of the door. He slowly raised his hand and knocked on the door gently, fearing for his life. Although there was a smile plastered on his face, he knew for sure it was a very, very nervous smile. He knocked a few more times, this time with just a little bit more force than the previous set of knocks.

 

The door opened. “H-hi, hyung,” Hyungwon looked down at the poor, shaking figure, who still tried to keep up his smile. “W-weather’s pretty, uh, nice, right-”

 

“Just get in.”

 

“Okay,” He replied quickly, though it sounded more like he was talking to himself, immediately walking in and taking off his shoes as Hyungwon closed and locked the door. He followed behind Hyungwon as if he was a lost pup, even if he’d already been to Hyungwon’s house a few times. The silence between them was tense, and although Changkyun was extremely uncomfortable with it, he wasn’t sure whether starting a conversation would be wise or not.

 

He didn’t say anything, he’ll just speak when spoken to right now.

 

Hyungwon gestured at the side of the table opposite to him, and Changkyun stiffly sat there while opening his own drawstring bag. He placed the books on the table idly, fidgeting with his fingers before looking at Hyungwon, immersed in his own textbooks. Changkyun opened his mouth to say something, but decided against it and went to reading his own textbook.

 

Or, at least, tried to. He failed, though.

 

“Hey, hyung?” Changkyun called out, his voice broke at some point and wow the hit that his pride took. Hyungwon looked up before replying with a hum. Changkyun took a few deep breaths. “You… Are you- are you mad at me?” His voice got quieter in the end, gripping his textbook tightly out of fear.

 

Hyungwon breathed out a sigh. Changkyun anticipated his answer, tapping on the table, slowly leaning forward on the table. “Not at you, Changkyun, not at you.” At the sound of that, he let out a breath he didn’t realise he was holding. “I mean, you were extremely fucking late and that did add up to the stress,” Changkyun immediately tensed up because of that. “But, I’m not mad at you.”

 

Changkyun nodded at that answer, relieved. “Then… What were you mad at?”

 

“... Things,” Hyungwon answered curtly. “Just get back to studying, Changkyun.” Changkyun nodded immediately, afraid of getting into trouble.

 

_______________

 

It’s been a few hours since Changkyun arrived at Hyungwon’s house. The sky was now getting dark. Extremely dark. So dark, it doesn’t look like it’s only the time affecting it.

 

Changkyun looked out at the window behind Hyungwon, face slightly showing worry though he felt that emotion more than it seemed. “What’s up?” Hyungwon asked, noticing his troubled expression.

 

“The sky’s really dark, I think it’ll rain pretty hard…” Changkyun mumbled out, continuing to look at the sky, then at Hyungwon sheepishly. Out of habit, Changkyun checked his phone for the time, “It’s 6.36 PM, too.”

 

“You wanna stay here for the night, in case a storm happens?” Hyungwon suggested as he stood up, closing his textbook for once in the last 3 hours. Changkyun took a while to respond, before nodding at his question.

 

“I’ll tell my parents.” Changkyun said, texting his parents to notify them about the sudden sleepover he was going to have at Hyungwon’s house. “Sorry for bothering you, hyung,”

 

“You’re not a bother, don’t worry,” Hyungwon’s voice was muffled a little bit. While he was setting up the bedroom so it could fit two, Changkyun felt a familiar sickening feel begin in his stomach.

 

“Fuck,” He muttered to himself, clutching onto his stomach while doubling over with pain.

 

“We can do whatever you want for a few ho- Shit, Changkyun, are you okay?” Hyungwon cut his own sentences as soon as he saw Changkyun’s current state, and walked to his side.

 

“Uh... Could I u-use your bathroom for a second?” Changkyun smiled nervously at Hyungwon. He had to go to the toilet, _fast_. He had to hide the evidence that he was throwing up flower petals, _fast_. And he also had to act like everything’s fine and nothing’s wrong and he’s not sincerely worried about what he’s actually going through,  _fast_. Well, fuck. He was never the best at time pressure, and especially not when his priorities were stacked.

 

Hyungwon nodded and moved away from Changkyun so he could move to get to the toilet, but he really wasn’t expecting him to move so fast. He ran so fast that he didn’t even close the bathroom door correctly, he only slammed it close and immediately crouched over the toilet seat. Gripping the toilet seat, he closed his eyes as he felt the petals rise up and out of his mouth.

 

There was an overwhelming amount of petals, this time around.

 

After he was done, Changkyun wiped the sweat off of his face. He sat down on the floor, breathing in and out heavily. His head was throbbing just slightly, and his vision blurred just the slightest. Damn, maybe the effects on him were stronger the more he threw up?

 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Changkyun immediately remembered that he was at someone else’s house, not his own. And the fact that he’s been hiding the fact that he throws up petals wasn’t exactly very smart of him. Still isn’t.

 

“... I… Uh, didn’t want you to worry…?” Changkyun’s voice was high at the end and he could tell Hyungwon could tell, no matter how small his voice was. Hyungwon walked inside the bathroom slowly. “... Even if I don’t know what I’m going through.”

 

Hyungwon extended his hand to Changkyun, and he took it without hesitance, standing up with his assistance. “Thanks,” He mumbled, walking with what little energy he had to the couch. Hyungwon nodded, carefully positioned him to be sitting up straight and went to the kitchen to grab them both some water after.

 

He came back a glasses of water on both hand, and one of the glasses had ice in it. “Here you go,” Hyungwon offered the one with ice in the glass, and Changkyun took it with a small ‘thank you’. He took big gulps, and ended drinking the whole thing in one try. “... I don’t know how to break it to you, and especially with your bet of ‘never liking anyone until college’, but clearly you owe Wonho some money.”

 

Changkyun had a look of bewilderment in his eyes. “What do you mean by that?” He asked, holding his glass tightly.

 

“Well, for one, this disease only targets people who suffer from one-sided love.” Hyungwon answered, sipping his water. “So, there’s that.”

 

“Is, is this the only form, or something? You do get what I mean, right?” Changkyun asked again, relieved to finally have some kind of answer.

 

“Well, if the person you have one-sided love for also has one-sided love towards someone else, you throw up full-on flowers, sometimes even with stems if your feelings were strong enough. I would know.” Hyungwon answered again, though the last part was said a bit softer.

 

“... Who was it?” Changkyun mumbled out, matching the softness of Hyungwon’s sentence.

 

“... Minhyuk liked this barista from a cafe. Said she was real cute and sweet. But, she was already engaged.” Hyungwon sighed out, giving a weak smile to Changkyun. “Don’t tell him I told you that, though. He wanted that to be his secret or something.” Hyungwon shrugged.

 

“... Oh.” Changkyun nodded after, resting his back on the couch. “Does he… know? About, y’know, you….?”

 

“No.” Hyungwon stared at what’s in front of him, a wall with some decorations. “It might not even affect the relationship, but I was afraid it might ruin our relationship. Still am.”

 

“Oh…” Changkyun mumbled. “Is there… Is there a way to cure it?”

 

“There is.” Hyungwon looked at Changkyun. “Surgery. However, it’s a little tricky.”

 

“Why is that? Because it’s really fuckin’ expensive?”

 

“Well, there’s that. But the thing is, doctors don’t really know where the petals are made. Sure, you puke it out, but the location where the petals are actually debatable. And considering the place is different for every person, your doctor’s gonna have a heck of a time trying to get the petals out of you.” Hyungwon explained. “Besides, if you choose surgery, apparently, the feelings you have will be gone, too. Since the flowers are because you have feelings for someone, if you remove them you’re also removing your feelings.”

 

“That’s so complicated,” Changkyun commented.

 

“That’s why I didn’t choose surgery.” Hyungwon mused. “Hopefully only waiting my feelings out will help. But time will tell.”

 

“What if you still like Minhyuk-hyung by the time he gets with someone else?” Changkyun asked.

 

“Well, a) the flowers will turn back to petals and won’t hurt as much. b) It’ll be much harder to sleep at night. And c) I guess it’s raining every day, now,” Hyungwon answered.

 

Changkyun didn’t know how to answer to that, how do you answer to your friend when you realise your friend really likes- loves your other friend? There’s not much to say, if even at all. So, he stupidly hummed to that. “But it’s fine,” Hyungwon added in, quickly. “Because it’s Minhyuk, and I’d do anything to make that stupid fucker happy. You get what I mean?”

 

“Yeah… I think I do...” Changkyun replied, thinking of a person he met at his class. Their characteristics filling up his mind, until his train of thought was nothing BUT them.

 

Ohh, fuck. So that’s why he has this disease.

 

Disease?

 

“Wait,” Changkyun started, catching Hyungwon’s attention. “Backtrack for a moment, please. You said this was a disease?”

 

Hyungwon nodded, “Hanahaki Disease.”

 

“... Wow,” Changkyun slumped. “I really thought I was gonna die in a few months… But it turns out it’s only because of my dumb feelings….”

 

Hyungwon mused, “Well, maybe if you told me earlier, like, for instance, at school, you wouldn’t worry so damn much. Because you can’t die from throwing up flowers.”

 

“Shut up.”

 

“... Actually, you can die from it, but no one’s died from it in the past 5 years.”

 

“Someone died because of this shit 6 years ago?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey-! SO- 
> 
> I have an excuse for this, okay?? So, I was planning to post this last week, so it would only be a week difference between the first chapter and the second one. However, exams were intervening and I'm an idiot, but I'm a slightly responsible idiot so I couldn't work on the second chapter and publish it last week. But hey, at least it arrived now, right?? 
> 
> Okay, I have a tangent for you all: I hate writing people in pain?? Like, in physical pain, mental pain, emotional pain, any pain. I feel really bad for them, and putting bbys Changkyun and Hyungwon through all that really... I'm just like 'w h y are you mAKING THEM GO THROUGH PAIN' at myself. I'm not a sadist, definitely not. But wow, I just feel so sad whenever someone is in pain. Welp, I guess I won't even survive writing my next Kyun story, huh?


End file.
